TOP TEN REASONS WHY I BELIEVE I’M LIVING IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE

Here are my "TOP TEN" reasons why I believe I'm living in a parallel universe:

10. My e-mail spam catcher is full of bogus discount coupons but no herbal Viagra ads

9. Trying to boost poor ticket sales, the NFL starts broadcasting football games in 3-D

8. Michael Jackson has become a devoted follower of Cat Stevens

7. A black man has been elected president, and he’s sending his kids to an all-white private school

6. After 16 years in production, Guns n Roses releases its “Chinese Democracy” album

5. Chrysler is marketing its 19 city/24 highway PT Cruiser as a “fuel-efficient” vehicle

4. A no-name congressional aid to vice president-elect Joe Biden has been named to fill his Senate seat

3. A seven-time convicted felon lost his Senate seat by only 2500 votes

2. Political historians are seriously debating whether the term ‘Joe Six-pack” altered the outcome of the 2008 presidential election

1. George W. Bush is making statements about the economy without the aid of a Tele-prompter