'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE BLACK FRIDAY ...

‘Twas the night before Black Friday, and throughout the land,
Not a shopper was shopping, even for a name brand.

Merchant ads had been placed in newspapers with care,
In hopes that Christmas shoppers would soon be there.

Wall Street CEOs were nestled all snug in their beds,
With fond memories of deregulation still dancing in their heads.

And mamma in her second-hand clothes, and I in my baseball cap,
We had both popped a Xanax, so we could finally take a nap!

When out on the Internet there arose such a chatter,
I broke from my slumber to see what was the matter.

Away to my computer, I flew like a flash,
To open Explorer, and surf for cheap holiday cash.

The glare on my PC screen appeared like moonlight on a new-fallen snow,
And gave magnificent luster and mystery to thawing credit markets below.

When, what to my surfing eyes should appear?
But images of an economic team, so earnest and sincere.

And a fresh-faced leader, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment this was not St. Nick!

More rapid than eagles, Obama’s calls they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

“Away Paulson! Away Bush! And the Ghost of Nixon!
On Geithner! On Summers! The economy needs fixin’!”

“To the credit markets you each must hurry!
Get Bernanke! Get Bernanke!” He said with a flurry.

When times are tough, Americans do not stomp or cry;
We meet each obstacle, and we look to the sky.

And so with hope, the economic team they flew,
With a sleigh full of incentives, and rate cuts too!

A few moments later, I heard at my front door,
The knock-knocking of secret service agents galore.

As I glared out the window, my eyes they were amazed,
But there stood Mr. Obama; now I was in a daze.

“How can I help you, Mr. President-elect?”
I said to him with great awe and respect.

“All Americans must do their part” he said with haste.
“Here’s a new credit card … there’s no time to waste!”

“Off to malls, off to the stores. You must shop, shop, shop!
And there’s no spending limit, so please don’t stop”

Surely, my mind was tricking me in some Xanax-induced haze,
But I thought I heard him promise “no payments for ninety days!”

“Yes Sir!” I said to America’s new commander-in-chief,
“I will do as you say, and shop, shop with no grief.”

Then, as we shook hands to seal the deal,
I heard two young girls suddenly squeal,

“Daddy, daddy, we’re late to pick up our new puppy!”
It was then I realized … as a Nation, we are truly lucky.